I’m having one of those days…it’s been a while since I’ve felt like this and while it’s certainly not the end of the world it does makes things not-so-fun.

It started this morning when I broke one of my RULES!  I forgot to put my clothes in the dryer last night before I went to bed.  I got up a little later than usual, made my protein shake and sat down at my computer to write a couple food blogs.  At 8:23, about 20 minutes before I usually leave for the gym I realized that I hadn’t dried my gym clothes, on top of that I hadn’t showered…I always shower before going to the gym. Ugh!  I jumped up from my computer, threw one pair of workout pants in the dryer along with a sports bra (I had clean shirts and socks and underwear) and ran upstairs to take a shower.  When I got up there I immediately felt like I didn’t want to go to the gym at all.  I don’t know what it was.  I just…didn’t.  I have these fleeting moments sometimes when I feel like “my old self” when all I want to do is be lazy and eat something crappy.  This was one of those moments.

God I hate those moments!  They absolutely terrify me.  I am extremely aware of how much I’ve changed over the past year but I’m equally aware of how easy it would be to go back.  — that’s a whole other blog post…

Anyway, I told myself that these thoughts were unacceptable, brushed my hair, put on a bandanna and some deodorant, clean underwear and then came downstairs and got dressed in my mostly-wet pants, sports bra and thankfully, dry, shirt.  I put on my socks and my shoes and I filled my water bottle and walked out the door.

The garage was flooded, so much so that there was about three inches of standing water on the far-side (driver’s side) of the car– a moment of pride replaced the dread I had been feeling as I climbed into the car from the passenger’s side, lifted my leg up over the center console, sat down in the driver’s seat and pulled my other leg up over the console without any difficulty what-so-ever.  It’s those little things that I couldn’t have done one year ago that help me keep moving forward.  It was a small non-scale-victory but it came just in time as I was feeling a bit down.

I made it to the gym, my new gym, which seems to have been a harder transition for me than I thought.  I don’t dislike it or anything but part of me feels like I’m starting all over.  I don’t know where things are, I don’t have my strength sheet to tell me how much I should be lifting or to measure my progress, and…I don’t know…it’s just different.  Not different bad, just not what I’m used to.  But I’m with the same awesome people and I’m still getting an amazing workout.  For some reason though I feel like I’m back sliding.  It’s probably because I’m trying new things like assisted pull-ups on the pull-up bar instead of ring rows and high box steps instead of low ones but…ugh.  Just makes me feel like I’m regressing. Ugh

Moving on.

I was the last one out of like 8 or 9 people to finish today’s WOD- not much new there.  It doesn’t usually bother me but for some reason it did today.  I don’t know if it was actually the part where I finished last or the part where my knee hurt so bad I couldn’t run.

I’ve had this same knee issue for going on one month now.  It’s not doctor worthy– it’s muscular not skeletal but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I stayed after class today to do some extra rolling and stretching which only made me feel more gimpy.  Bah.

When I got home I found out that I had lost two clients at work.  This sucks because I work on commission and well…need I say more?  Grr!  All I want to do is get my PT certification and switch career paths but that’s going to take time so I have to be patient.

Couple all of this (which is really not that big of a deal in comparison to what things COULD be) along with PMS and yet ANOTHER cold, rainy day.  Oh an also, the affects of the first few days of getting back into ketosis after this past weekend’s carb-fest.  That’s a whole other blog, too!

Anyway…cry, cry.  I know I’m allowed to have a bad day but that doesn’t make it suck any less.  I’m usually a very happy person but today I just feel defeated and deflated.  I hate my hormones- I don’t get mean or bitchy when I’m PMSing I just feel like I suck at life for a few days…a LONG few days. Blerg.

Okay, I’m tired of thinking about all of this.  I think I’ll take a bubble bath tonight and then go to bed early.  Sometimes that does the trick.  Until then…blergitty, blerg, blerg.