So after this insanely ridiculously amazingly EPIC weekend I came home to what felt like a HUGE let down from which I’m still trying to recover…

After the best night’s sleep I’ve had as an adult in a twin sized bed at a beautiful lake house in the Poconos on Sunday night, Chris, Anna and I headed home. Anna to Calgary, Chris and I south, in the same car. We left around noon and got to my house at about 10:30 that night. Chris still had a 4 hour drive to Atlanta…I really don’t know how he does it. I’m worthless without enough sleep!

Anyway, when I got home I was on a high like no other! I had just had a weekend like no other with so many stories to share and all I wanted to do was tell someone about them…namely, my husband.

As I wandered around the house putting stuff away he followed me telling me about…something, I don’t even remember what now– a TV show or something. I told him that I really wanted to tell him about my weekend and he just looked at me and said, “well I want to tell you about this! I haven’t had anyone to talk to all weekend except the dog!” To which I rolled my eyes and said, “that’s really hurtful.” He got annoyed and walked away…so I went to bed.

The next day I was still angry.

I got a call from my mom that afternoon. She asked, “How was your weekend?” I said, “It was awesome! I met some amazing people, ran two races, pushed myself and finished!” To which she replied, “That’s good. So the real reason I called was to ask you…” And went on to ask me for a favor. During that conversation my sister got on the phone, asked me for a favor, didn’t ask me anything about my race and then my mom got back on the phone and proceeded to tell me that she was going to be at my sisters race next week, “are you planning to be there?”

I told her that I wasn’t running but I was planning to be there. Then she went on to tell me that she was also planning to attend the ROC race that my sister is doing…

“are you doing that one?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Good, that will be your first race I get to come to”

“No that will be my first race you’re GOING to come to”

This compounded with what was going on with Brett just hurt…BAD!

I do these races for myself. To prove to myself how far I’ve come, to gauge my progress and to keep me focused. I get my own satisfaction how of crossing the finish line. I don’t ask for anyone to stand around with hand-painted signs and pom-poms cheering me on. But it would be nice to feel a little more supported, even it it’s just showing interest in what I’m doing.

She went on to tell me that I should see it from her point of view, that standing around waiting for me to finish does not sound like fun to her…

Brett told me that the reason he didn’t want to hear about my weekend was because he is worried that I’m going to leave him. (That reasoning still doesn’t make sense in my brain)

I vented about it a bit on facebook which I then deleted because I don’t like to whine, especially on FB…but it didn’t get deleted before my grandma could comment with, “the phone rings both ways.”

WHAT THE CRAP?!

This is where the “depressive” part of the bipolarness of this three-part-blog comes in. None of this will keep me down forever, but it has certainly taken the wind out of my sails…at least temporarily.

After my post on facebook, I got emails and phone calls from friends apologizing for not calling me but my post was not aimed at any of them. I thought it was kind of ironic that the people who it was aimed at made no attempts to make it better.

My mom texted me 5 days later and said she wanted to talk to me because she didn’t want me to be mad at her anymore; which is her way of apologizing. She called me again today, after seeing some picture of what I did on Facebook and asked me some question about the race and over the last couple of days Brett has asked me a few questions too but it has been hard to share it with both of them. Call it stubborn, pride, anger, resentment, sadness, whatever…I have not wanted to tell them about my weekend, at least not with any enthusiasm. When I try to talk about it I just feel sad.

I know this won’t last and I hope that one day soon I’ll be able to reminisce about my EPIC weekend with so much joy and excitement that my face will hurt from smiling while telling the story but until then I’m just totally bummed out.

Gotta love my I’mpefect Life!

By-the-way I am so far behind on blogging about all the amazing things that have been happening to me lately, I feel a bit like a schmuck. I really have nothing to complain about. My life is extremely full and I have so much to be proud of and happy about. I recognize that. This blog is just a little vent because like I said, not EVERYTHING is rainbows and puppy dogs.

Speaking of which, my dog had to have one of his eyes removed a couple of weeks ago. Now he looks like this…