It’s been almost 4 months since my last blog post.  This MIGHT be the longest I’ve ever gone.  For all of you who have been waiting with baited breath, I’m sorry.  I’ve thought about writing a couple of times but then I’ve thought, “what would I even write about?”  Things have really been very…boring for the past several months.  Okay, maybe “boring” isn’t the right word, but I can’t really think of anything super exciting that was blog-worthy.  Yes, I’ve been losing weight and yes, I’m feeling like a whole new person but day-to-day life has been just that!

So here’s a quick summary of the past four months:  I’ve lost 70lbs total since December 1 and have been averaging about 10lbs a month for the last 3 or 4 months.  When I look at the big number I’m pleased, I realize that 70lbs is a LOT of weight but 10lbs per month does not seem like much considering I had my guts re-routed.  I don’t let this get me down but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a tad bit disappointing.

Over the past four months I’ve gone to the beach three times (not bad!), seen a couple of plays, had a few girls’ nights out and started working out regularly (sometimes).

I still struggle with exercise.  I’ll do good for a few weeks but then something comes up like a vacation or illness or a change in my routine and I have a REALLY hard time getting back into the swing of things.  I had started the Couch to 5k running program, got through the first week, decided to do the first week again on the second week because I didn’t feel ready to move on and then we went on vacation– haven’t been back since.  I know that I need to exercise- no need for lectures.  There’s nothing anyone can say that will get my ass to the gym, I will do it…I WILL!  I actually got up early this morning, got dressed, put on my shoes, got in the car, drove down the street towards the gym and then turned around and came home.  Why?  Because it was raining, of course!  I know that sounds like a ridiculous excuse but in my defense it wasn’t just raining it was a torrential downpour and the walk from the car to the door of the gym is kinda far if you’re walking through a solid sheet of water.  Yes, I realize I could have taken an umbrella, I don’t need you to point out what I could have or should have done differently, I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself…I promise!  😀  I will exercise today, no two ways about it.  I have water aerobics tonight, which I won’t miss, although it may be cancelled due to this weather.  However, I WILL go for a walk/run TODAY in my neighborhood.  Seriously!

Okay, enough of that.  Now what’s the real purpose of this blog entry?  Well I’m going to do my FIRST mud run NEXT WEEKEND!  (see I can’t NOT go for a walk/run through my neighborhood today!)  If you know me personally, or if you’ve been reading my blog for a while you probably already know how badly I’ve wanted to do a mud run for a LONG time.  I had hoped to be able to do the Warrior Dash in May, but I wasn’t ready.  Hell!  I’m not even sure that I’m ready for this race, but I AM ready to have fun and this one, I believe, is less of a competition more of an excuse to get dirty.

I had pretty much resigned myself to waiting until the fall to do my first but then…Living Social came a-knockin on my email door and I couldn’t refuse.  Well, actually I could, but I didn’t want to. I saw the email, first-thing when I checked my email yesterday morning on my phone.  I didn’t delete it because I wanted to look at it on my computer so I could really investigate.  When I got to my computer about an hour later, there was an email from my friend Melinda that was a forward of the Living Social deal with the words, “Let’s do this!!!!! What do you say?”  I mean really, how do you say “no” to that?!  HA!

I hemmed and hawed and freaked out and looked at the race website over and over again.  I surveyed some friends and asked for advice on the Spartan Chick Facebook page and everyone said I should do it.  I didn’t really expect them to say anything different.  If I did, I probably wouldn’t have asked and if I didn’t actually want to do it I wouldn’t have even mentioned it but I still needed a good freak out session.

Every time I thought about it, which was pretty much every 10 seconds from about 7:30am until 12:00pm, I got all emotional.  Fear, excitement, joy, fear, fear, fear.  Did I mention fear?  I was fearful that I wouldn’t be able to do it, fearful that people would stare or judge or just flat out wonder why I was there but mostly I was fearful of myself. I don’t like to suck at things, I’m assuming no one does, but I will rarely try something unless I KNOW I’m going to be good at it.  You may have heard me say before, “I don’t want to learn things, I just want to know them.”  The same goes for this.  I don’t want to “try” it I just want to “do” it, followed up with a loud, “but I don’t want to fail!”  Which brings us to the hours of hemming and hawing.  There were many words of encouragement from others but ultimately I had to encourage myself so I decided that I was being silly.  That I should just go and have fun and get dirty and hang with my girl, Melinda.  I have no doubt that we will laugh our asses off the majority of the time and the after-look will make for a great photo-op!

I won’t say that I’m not nervous anymore because that would be a lie.  The course is 3.1 miles…did I mention that yet?  No, I don’t think I did.  Yeah…THREE POINT ONE MILES!  Enough said!  But knowing that six months ago this was only a dream and that today or at least next week it will be a reality is pretty mother effing THRILLING!  Even if I’m unable to complete all the obstacles and even if I walk the entire thing, I will have accomplished my MAJOR weightloss goal and will only be able to improve from there!

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