One of the things I swore to myself before I had kids, was that I would not get lost. I would maintain my identity, continuing to be Andrea– the wife, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, personal trainer, lifestyle coach, motivational speaker, triathlete, Spartan, avid CrossFitter, general badass, etc… I’d just add “mom” to the list. HA!
Let me reiterate: Hahahahaha! HA. HA. HA.
Turns out, being a mom is a 100% full-time job, just like everyone said.
This left me feeling like there wasn’t time for anything else—which makes sense, because 100% is 100%.
For the last 2.5 years it’s been me being a mom, and not much else. I’ve tried to get back to “business” a few times, but quickly felt overwhelmed, lacking the time and energy necessary to actually DO business. But I like to think that I’m finally making some progress. I’m working out pretty regularly and I’m taking my own advice and following Rule #4 for living an I’mperfect Life, I’m making myself a priority.
I’m slowly finding ways to be a mom 100% of the time, while ALSO doing other things.
It’s kind of like 100% driving a car while ALSO eating snack, AND acknowledging every vehicle on the road to my 2.5 year old in an effort to keep him occupied so he doesn’t wake up my 9 month old who’s asleep in the car seat next to him.
Of course I LOVE being a mom and I’m so grateful that I get to be a stay-at-home mom but…
I miss my personal training and lifestyle coaching clients.
I miss hosting retreats, and online programs.
I miss sitting down at my computer to write a blog post whenever I have something on my mind.
I miss posting pictures with random thoughts on social media. I mean, I still do that, but not as regularly as I used to. These days a lot of my social media content is pre-scheduled so I can work on it when I get a chance and know that at least I’m putting something out there in the world that might help someone else.
I consider myself a problem solver. It’s what I love (and miss) most about coaching.
While it’s often easier to solve other people’s problems than it is my own, I always strive to be introspective and honest with myself in an effort to find solutions. It just typically takes a lot longer to solve my own problems than it does to solve someone else’s.
My personal problem solving method usually looks something like this…
- Identify the problem.
- Ignore the problem, or at least try to convince myself that it’s not a big deal
- Feel the pressure, caused by the problem.
- Feel that pressure build, and build, and build.
- Finally admit the problem needs a solution.
- Bitch about the problem to anyone who will listen.
- Have a meltdown.
- Bitch some more.
- Maybe have another meltdown, because the bitching isn’t actually solving anything.
- Bitch some more.
- Have a friend suggest a solution or multiple solutions.
- Bitch about how those won’t work.
- Have another meltdown.
- Bitch some more.
- Decide enough is enough- that I need to actually TRY something rather than bitch.
- Come up with a solution, often times with the help of the friend or friends who provided previous suggestions.
- Fight it, because I’m not done bitching yet.
- Give up and implement the solution.
- Be brilliant.
- Feel like 1,000% better.
This has basically been my life for the last two months– wanting so badly to get back to work, but feeling lost, and sometimes, suffocated by my boys. I was unable to see a solution because I was convince that I didn’t have the time, energy, resources, or brain power to make it all happen at one time.
My perfectionist issues were getting in my way.
I was stuck in my old ways of “all or nothing.” Once I realized that, I gave myself a swift kick and repeated over and over again, “YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALL RIGHT NOW. JUST DO SOMETHING!”
I don’t have everything figured out. I’m far from perfect. (Hence the name, I’mperfect Life) But I am surrounded by amazing women, thanks to the powers of the internet, who share stories of struggles and success. Women who allow me to be a part of their I’mperfect Life.
I am constantly learning about myself and others, through others. Those are the lessons I love to share with you. It’s amazing what we can learn from others, and ourselves, when we create an opportunity to listen.