Since sharing my most recent post, “I May or May Not Be Pregnant…” I have received countless comments, phone calls, texts, emails, and private messages via social media from people all over the world. Some are people I’ve known almost my whole life and others I have never met before.  I have said it a hundred times, I am a very lucky girl who is surrounded by thoughtful, caring people both in person and online. Although words will never be able to express my gratitude, please know that I am forever grateful.

I wanted to let all of you know that I am okay! Not “JUST okay” but truly “okay.” In fact, I’m pretty darned good!

Although the question, “Am I pregnant?” is constantly in the back of my mind no matter what I’m doing: cooking dinner, working out, driving in the car, watching TV, trying to fall asleep, writing this blog, and especially every time I have to pee (will I see spotting?) it’s not getting me down. It’s not consuming me or making me sad or making me want to crawl in bed with the covers over my head.  I really am just going about my life, checking things off my to-do list, working out, eating well…you know, same old, same old. I’m doing that thing they call living in the present– a concept I never really understood until I realized I was actually doing it. Turns out it’s lovely here.

So what does that mean? Well, I’m not obsessing about whether or not I’m pregnant. Although the thought crosses my mind, I’m choosing not to google symptoms or signs of miscarriage. I’m not questioning, speculating, guessing or even talking about any of it. Not because it’s painful, but because doing any of those things creates unnecessary anxiety about something that is completely out of my control. This is not me be being strong or in denial, or any other positive or negative words associate with how we perceive people dealing with life’s challenges. I just feel at peace, which I believe comes from letting go of things that are out of my control and knowing that there will be plenty of time to grieve if the time comes. Until then, until I get a confirmation either way, I have no reason to stress.

I’m not sure if this is coming out the way I mean for it to sound. When I go back and read what I’ve written I worry that it sounds like I’m being defensive, but that’s totally not how I feel. I just want anyone who is concerned about me to know that I am okay! Like really, really okay. I promise.

I also promise that if I’m ever not okay, you will know. Heck the whole world will know! I mean really, have you read my blog? I might be terrified of snakes and hitting a deer with my car, but I am not afraid of being vulnerable. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am never afraid to share my feelings– laugh, cry, or just completely lose my shit in front of anyone. So please know that if you check on me and I tell you I’m okay, I mean it. And if I’m not okay, you’ll know.

For now, I am equally excited and nervous about my appointment next Wednesday; as much as I want to say, “I can’t wait!” I also want to say, “no rush.” I ALSO want to eat a lot of bacon and burnt cheddar cheese. I think I might need more salt in my diet!

All is good here in my I’mperfect Life. Thank you for being a part of it! <3