I’m happy to report that as of my last OB visit I had only gained ONE pound in 3 weeks. That is a first for me throughout this pregnancy as I have averaged at least a pound per week up until this point. Oy!
As of today I am at 27 weeks and 1 day, right at the cusp of the 3rd trimester…you know, when the majority of the weight gain is SUPPOSED to start. (oh please, oh please, oh please, let me be the exception!) So far this week I’ve actually LOST 2 pounds– not because I’m trying to lose weight but probably because I’m…I don’t know, finally getting this pregnancy thing figured out? Maybe?
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I am not a fan of being pregnant, and trust me, nothing has changed. People assume that it’s because of the weight gain, which I understand, but let me assure you, the scale is a very small factor in my misery.
Yes, it is hard to see the scale sky rocket– I’m up a total of 35lbs from the day I got pregnant (45 from my lowest weight) and knowing that it’s not over is a bit tough to swallow, but the number on the scale is not the source of my strong feelings of dislike about being pregnant.
Here’s an interesting fact about me: I HATE taking showers.
I hate them so much. I realize that they are necessary, and that I must make them happen in order to, you know, not be dirty and disgusting, which has benefits of things like: not stinking, being able to make and keep friends who aren’t afraid to hug me, sexy time with my husband and hair that doesn’t look like I styled it with french fries– which let’s be honest, that’s the best reason to shower. But the thing about showers is that you’re trapped in a little box, unable to escape the water that is spraying in your face, while you do a task that must be done– even if it’s just to wash the grease ball on top of your head, never mind shaving and all that other stuff that sometimes occurs. Sure you can turn on the radio, sing along, or listen to NPR and get some education, but you’re still in a box for however long it takes to get the job done.
PREGNANCY IS LONGEST SHOWER I HAVE EVER TAKEN!
Seriously guys. Forget the scale– that’s just a byproduct of being pregnant, a result of the SHOWER that has taken over my life. The thing I dislike about being pregnant the most is the feeling of being trapped in a box, unable to escape the water that is beating down on me. I mentioned before that I have totally lost control of EV-ER-Y-THING…including my thoughts, emotions, sometimes my words, my brain power, my bladder, my sleep pattern and my appetite. On top of this, all I want to do is all of the things that I can’t (shouldn’t) do.
I miss my high intensity workouts (turns out I’m a heart rate junkie)
I miss raw vegetables (I have sworn off all raw veg INCLUDING SALAD since the most recent listeria outbreak in bagged lettuce)
I want to go skiing and ride my bike and run.
I miss feeling strong.
I miss training– for something.
I want to not worry ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
I want to feel pure joy, rather than cautious optimism– turns out, previous miscarriage is a real joy-thief.
I want people to STOP CONSTANTLY SAYING THINGS LIKE, “Oh just wait…” or “You have no idea, wait till baby gets here.”
I want to stop being angry about people who are just trying to help, share, relate, advise, etc. But I can’t.
I want to be excited about things rather than fearing disappointment.
I want to feel like me again.
I know that being a mom is going to change my everything, I’m prepared for that.
I know that I will not sleep well for the first ??? however long, maybe ever again– I remember sleeping with one eye open when we had foster kids. I know that I will constantly worry about his health, safety and development for the rest of my life.
I know that I’m not going to pop this kid out and go back to being who I was and living the life I lived.
I know that it will all be different, but at least I’ll be out of the shower!
If nothing else I’ll be able to eat a damned deli sandwich and salad again! I want Jimmy John’s SO BAD!
I don’t expect to go from pregnant to giving birth to training for a triathlon overnight, but just being able to ride my bike knowing that if I fall I will only injure myself will feel like freedom.
The thing is, I really have nothing to complain about– other than the weight gain which isn’t fun, but is also completely normal. I am having a text book pregnancy. I feel great! Though I expect that to change in the near future as I get closer to my due date. My blood pressure has been perfect. My 1 hour glucose test was perfect. Baby is measuring right on schedule. All is good. I’m just an angry pregnant lady who feels trapped in the longest shower of her life. (I’m laughing at myself as I type this, because come on…it’s really so ridiculous!)
As for the weight gain, like I said, I think I’m getting the hang of it. I’m working on finding ways to eat veggies in a way that doesn’t include potential listeriosis. And I’m using this down time to work on making I’mperfect Life better than ever. A LONG, SLOW, WORTHWHILE, process…kind of like a shower…and being pregnant.
<3 Andrea
PRESS HIGHLIGHTS
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Congratulations on your pregnancy! I’m currently in the midst of my second and I hate it as much as the first. I just don’t like pregnancy (and I can relate to your shower vent too). I put on so much weight the first time around because everyone around me pushed the “eating for two” mentality, and I have issues saying “no”. This time I’m trying my best to maintain slow/minimum weight gain, but it’s hard when you’re body boats constantly and sometimes all your can stomach is pb&j
If I can offer any solace, even with my weight gain during my first pregnancy I remained in very good health and had a fantastic labor. It was seriously like the best workout I’ve ever done. I’m going into this second birth with that mentality, just the most intense workout, but it will be over much sooner than 9 months.
I’ve even told my husband I’d rather go through labor 3 more times than be pregnant again once…unfortunately, it doesn’t really work that way.
Anyway, best wishes and thank you for sharing your vent. Every woman experiences pregnancy differently, all our emotions and feelings are ours and justified.
I am WAY behind on replies! I’m so sorry! I was in labor for a few hours prior to a c-section for a breech baby, and yes, I agree, I’d rather do that for several hours than 9 month (well what ended up being 35 weeks) of pregnancy! 🙂
I’m 11 weeks pregnant and I feel like my body has totally defected. Who is this person in the mirror? This lower belly pooch is driving me crazy and I’m worried about gaining 100 pounds. It’s so much harder than I expected. It’s hard to stay positive when I don’t feel like myself and I can’t do all the things I want to do for the next 7 months. Thanks for being honest about pregnancy – if I read one more thing about how great it is I’m going to barf (for the second time today)!
I just saw this! I hope the pooch is feeling a little more like “pregnant”– it took me until 6 months to look pregnant which made it a little more enjoyable but still…I ended up gaining 50lbs, 20 was lost immediately and the other 30 are still hanging around. 🙂 All in good time though, and it’s worth it! <3 Good luck with everything!
Andrea,
I love this post. I have never been able to have a baby, yet I understand this so well. Hope that makes sense!