I hesitate to write this blog because I worry about jinxing things.  Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds, but it’s true.

Although every day is still a challenge, as I’m guessing it is in most families, we are certainly seeing huge improvements.  We are absolutely amazed at these kids and how well they are doing with daily activities.  We are perhaps even more amazed at ourselves with how well WE are doing.

One month ago we were averaging 3-4 times outs per day with each of the boys.  That’s 6-8 total—EXHAUSTING!  These last two weeks we’ve averaged about 3-4 PER WEEK!

The cussing has decrease significantly, which let me tell you, is SUCH a huge relief.  It still happens a couple of times per day, sometimes accidentally, some times on purpose, but 95% of the time it stops with a simple warning.

For a while there it was CONSTANT.  Pretty much, if the boys were awake and not eating, they were cussing.  Not cussing AT us, just cussing and/or fake cussing.  What is fake cussing you ask?  Let me give you an example:

“cockcockcockcaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhck,cockcockcockcahhhhhhhhhhhhk”

“cut it out, now”

“what?  I wasn’t saying a cuss!”  I was saying ‘cock’, like a bird”

“I don’t want to hear it.  Say it again and you’re going to time out”

seconds later

“crashit, crash it, cra shit”

“time out now!”

“I didn’t say a cuss!”

“Go- now…now!”

“I hate you! You’re mean!  Meanie, meanie, meanie!”  (and on and on for several minutes, while throwing pillows off the time out couch”)

UGH!!!

But now, like I said, the cussing is minimal and I’m also happy to report that time out is bearable.  Well, mostly bearable.  Better anyway.

Their communication skills have improved drastically and they are now able to speak real sentences, even paragraphs, which keeps their minds and mouth from wandering aimlessly to curse words.

School!  Oh my gosh!  I am sooooooooooo proud of them!  They are doing insanely well in school.  The (now 11 year old) girl is making friends- three of them even came to her birthday party on Saturday.  She wants me to do her hair every morning and she is taking pride in was she wears to school.  She is learning to read and can do double digit math problems!  She is learning to count money and is getting the basics of multiplication.

She is so smart and insanely athletic but man can she cop an attitude!  Woooh!  I mean seriously.  Ah, the pre-teen years. –I’m too young for this!  HA!

Emotionally, she is quite closed off but she has recently started laughing, like real belly laughs.  Like the boys she really only has two emotions:  happy and angry.  But she and I have really bonded the past few weeks and when I tuck her in at night she always gives me a hug and tells me she loves me.  *melt”

The nine year old boy is growing too, although, a little slower than the others.  He is figuring out that letters make sounds and that those sounds make words.  He gets so proud of himself when he can figure out how to spell things and his big huge smile just warms my heart.  He talks non-stop now.  NON-STOP!  Mostly about random stuff, but he’s talking.  AND chewing with his mouth closed.  THIS IS HUGE!  He gets frustrated really easily but  with a lot of encouragement he is find ways to complete tasks without just giving up.

The little one, 7, is growing by leaps and bounds.  He has gotten 100% on his last three spelling tests and read almost an entire picture book to me last week.  I thought I was going to cry.

My GOD he is cute and he knows how to work it. I have to remind myself to stand firm and not get sucked in by it.

The last few days he has been driving me CRAZY!  Getting into things he KNOWS he should be in to.  On Saturday, he took all of the food color that I had on the counter (I was making frosting for K’s b-day cake) without me seeing him.  He took it outside and squirted it ALL OVER the front walk-way.  I didn’t realize this until I went to clean up and noticed that they were all empty.  There were on the counter, where I had left them, but the BRAND NEW bottles were completely EMPTY!  I called him into the kitchen and flat out asked him if he had been playing with them.  He immediately apologized (in his cute little way) and I had to pinch myself to keep from getting sucked in.  I, of course, scolded him then made him write “I will not touch other people’s belongings” 10 times.  –Throughout the day he had also been caught with Brett’s watch, his sister’s RC helicopter AND the OLD food coloring, for which he had already gotten in trouble for that morning.  When he was done writing his sentences, I presented him with a bucket and a toothbrush and made him scrub  the (now kinda cool, but I won’t tell him that, tie dyed) sidewalk. UGH!!  We talked about the incident and he promised he wouldn’t touch other people’s stuff.  Well, at least not until Sunday when he was caught playing with my phone, Brett’s handheld GPS, my sunglasses and then this morning my keys as he was trying to break-in to the storage room to try to find god-knows-what!!!  UGH!

Did I mention how cute he is?  Precocious, but cute.

***

So a part of the fostering stuff that you don’t really learn about in the classes is all the business/legal stuff.  Court dates, family visits, meetings with Guardian ad litems, therapists, social workers, etc., etc., etc.  This is truly a full-time job and can be quite stressful on us and the kids.  Understandably so.

We try to keep things as “normal” as possible and for the most part we operate just like normal family.  A “normal family” that has visits with “real” (birth) family twice a week and other extraneous people several times a month.

We seem to have a good system in place, with lots of routine during the weekdays.  Weekends, which we all want to look forward to are often the most stressful because of the lack of routine and structure.  We are finding that when the kids have too much free-time all hell breaks loose so we are working to find a balance, it’s definitely getting better.

I’m just so proud of them and perhaps even more proud of us.  Brett and I both feel like we definitely made the right choice to become foster parents.  We constantly talk about just how lucky we are and how good it feels to KNOW that what we are doing is important, impactful and completely fulfilling.

Although I may never know what it’s like to be pregnant or nurse and infant, I certainly know what it’s like to be a mom…and I love it!