So a few exciting things have happened lately.  One, I’m SO close to breaking the 200 barriers.  I’m at 201lbs this morning.  I’ve been fluctuating between the same fricken 5lbs for three weeks now but I feel like today is solid and hopefully, the scale will continue to move down…or not.  I mean, I want the scale to go down because I haven’t seen a ONE in front of my weight in 18 years but I also want to be sure that all I’m losing is fat and not precious muscle.  Since I’m doing the body-fat challenge at my gym it actually behooves me to stay the same weight as long as I’m trading fat pounds for muscle pounds– never thought I’d say that!  But, I still have a SIGNIFICANT amount of fat to lose so, you know, it’s a toss-up.

Today I did my first double under.  What’s a double under you ask?  Well, it’s when you jump rope and get the rope around two times for a single jump.  It doesn’t sound hard but somehow it feels near impossible when you’re attempting it.

“It’s all in the wrist,” my coach says.  HA!  Whatever, you have to jump high enough to allow for enough time to get the damned rope around two times!  PLUS you have to figure out how to coordinate your wrists with your feet all while “not thinking about it.”  I’m still not sure how I actually did it.  It just sort of happened…and then I threw myself a little party right there in the middle of our workout. I actually did TWO in a row…the first time, after that I got four single double under. Meh.  Now I want to buy a jump rope.

Moving on- I started running with a running group on Tuesday for the Couch to 5k training.  The first run was actually pretty easy.  1 minute run, 1 minute walk, alternating for 20 minutes.  It was the same for Thursday only…I didn’t go.  I was going to go but then I didn’t.  It was cold and windy and I was tired and…I don’t know.  I had lots of excuses but the fact of the matter is that I didn’t go.  It’s the first time since I started this journey that I haven’t followed through on something, which made me sad. My excuses were valid but the end result was still that I didn’t do something that I told myself I was going to do and I’m still regretting it.

I’m getting stronger. It’s pretty cool.  Today I back squatted 75lbs, that’s pretty impressive considering I’m carrying at least an extra 50lbs just on my body and most of it is in my butt and hips.  I’m fairly certain that one of these days that fat will have to give it up!  I’ve lost 125lbs and have only lost 10 inches in my hips.  I know 10 inches is a lot but it’s disproportionate to the rest of my inches. Eh.  Whatever.

Whenever I get to feeling a little down about the loose fat/extra skin or weird shape of my body, I tell myself, “it’s better than the alternative”.  I’ll take this “weirdness” over being 325lbs again any day!

Oh, I “ran”  (using that term very loosely) a 5k in 49:49 a couple of weeks ago.  I runnished the first mile.  The ENTIRE first mile!  I couldn’t believe it.  I still hate running but I must say that I’m beginning to figure it out.  I’ve realized that the first 400 meters or so suck the most- it takes that long for me to get my breathing under control and after that I’m good…until about 800 meters when my legs want to give up then I just have to push through and eventually they get with it too, well at least for the second 800 meters then they hate me and want me to stop all together.

I’m also learning to pace myself and by “pace myself” I mean go REALLY, REALLY slow!  I’m fairly certain that most people walk faster than I “run” but I’m getting my heart-rate up so, you know, there’s that. Another thing I constantly tell myself is, “it won’t get easier if you don’t keep doing it.”  That usually gets me through when I really want to quit.

I feel like there’s so much more to share but my mind is drawing a blank so I guess that’s it for now.