I had my first child 17 months ago and as it turns out, it’s been way harder than I had imagined.

It took me almost 6 months to figure out how to leave the house.

It took me 10 months to figure out how to get to the gym again.

It took me 12 months to figure out how to feel at least a little more in control…only to find out I was pregnant 1 month later. Ahhhh!

And…

It took 15 months for my beautiful, sweet, adorable, smart, funny, perfect in (almost) every way, baby to figure out how to sleep through the damned night!

For those first 14 or so months I tried to keep living the same life I had pre-baby, but as it turns out, that’s not possible– despite my efforts to drive Josh to sleep so I could sit in the driveway and work on my laptop. Ugh! I’m super stubborn! (I actually wrote about my “New Mom Struggles” back in January. I think this post means I’ve finally made some progress. Finally)

I tried so hard!

I tried to maintain IPL as a business, totally and completely sleep deprived, without even so much as a nap-time to get stuff done.

I tried to fit in workouts, dropping Josh off at childcare where he wouldn’t let the worker put him down, even for a second.

I tried to be a good wife, mom, business owner, friend, daughter, grand-daughter, etc.

I tried to write, and coach, and teach, and offer all the same IPL services I’ve been providing for the last 5 years.

Pre-Josh, it wasn’t unusual for me to work 80 hours per week. How on earth did I ever imagine I’d be able to keep that up with an infant?

I was left feeling inadequate and incapable of being “super mom”– whatever that mythical creature is. (I’m pretty sure she only appears in pictures other people post on social media…Jerks.)

I took a break and made a plan

By the middle of June I found myself frustrated and almost resentful towards my sweet, yet high-maintenance, baby and it was at that point that I decided it was time for a break. I needed to take some time away from running a business; from coaching and writing and training clients, and even social media; so I automated as much as I could and took the summer off.

I planned to spend my mornings at the gym, taking advantage of the 2 hours of FREE childcare so I could get in a workout as well a little “me time” since I hear that’s what us moms need. This happened TWICE.

I planned to get involved in the Moms Club that I joined last September; joining play dates and attending events at the park and the library. This happened ONCE.

I planned to just spend time with my baby, taking him to the pool or splashing around in the blow-up version we set up in our backyard– especially since another baby is now on the way. This also happened TWICE. Then the blow-up pool became a breeding ground for frogs. Seriously. I think we bred at least three generations of tree frogs this summer.

I had great plans with good intentions— and then the first trimester of my pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself right back where I was when I was pregnant with Josh; basically moving from flat surface to flat surface in my house.

Unlike last time, this time I didn’t even attempt to work out. I remember too vividly how that laid me out for three days each time I tried, before. And I knew that I couldn’t be COMPLETELY worthless since this time around I have a very active toddler depending on me.

Although that break didn’t go as planned, it turns out, it was exactly what I needed. Just taking time away from working allowed me to reevaluate my personal needs and priorities. And now I have a new plan…or at lease some new goals.

My re-prioritized plan…er…goal…

My goal is to stop running a business and get back to blogging, inspiring others by just living my own I’mperfect Life, hanging out on social media, and doing all of these things without the pressure of selling things or procuring clients or creating any steady stream of revenue.

It is important to me to continue sharing my I’mperfect Life philosophy because I have seen it literally change 1,000’s of women’s lives, so I don’t want to just quit and walk away.

Plus staying connected with you helps me stay motivated and holds me accountable to continue making progress, and focus on living my own best happy, healthy, I’mperfect Life.

And I LOVE teaching, so I do plan to offer one-off workshops both in-person and online, but seldom and using simple technology that doesn’t require dozens of hours to set up. SO. MANY. HOURS. Ugh. Something to look forward to, yay!

I also feel that it is important for me to maintain a bit of my own identity in addition to being a mom.

Changes to be made…

With all that being said, I am making some changes. I have decided to strictly limit my coaching practice, take a year or two off from hosting the annual retreat, and I am letting go of the group programs I’ve offered in the past and had planned for the future…at least for now.

This has been a really hard decision to make but as with all tough decisions, once I made it, and committed to it, it was so freeing. I now feel like I can move forward rather than trying to hold on to unnecessary stress and self-inflicted obligation.

As our lives change it’s so important to stop and take stock of our priorities. In my case I added a whole new person to my life, and I’m getting ready to add another so it only makes sense that I need to shuffle some things around.

I wish I had figured that out 17 months ago, but like I said, I’m stubborn!

So here’s to the future!

My future as a full-time mom, and a very part-time blogger/coach. <3

And who knows, maybe, just maybe, now that my brain and my time will be freed up from the pressure to “produce” I’ll find some time and inspiration to write again…and share more of my life and random thoughts on Facebook. I miss doing those things. And I’m hoping you miss seeing them too!

I can’t wait to get these two post ideas out of my brain into (onto?) the internet…