An Ode To Spandex

Spandex oh spandex you were once only shiny
Available in “fashionable” colors just prior to 1990
Your shimmer and sparkle made us look not so shapely
But now you are matte and hide imperfections so greatly
You are tight and stretchy making me feel skinny while sweating
And you never cause me to trip or tug or hike you back up even when I am fretting
(burpees that is!)
Though you come in many colors I will always prefer black
As that color helps to camouflage my fat
Your mistakes over the years have made many people fear you
But they just don’t understand all the positive things you do, do
I may not look hot when I don you on my butt
Yet I still wear you proudly while working to decrease my gut
There’s nothing that can stop me when my spandex is on
I hope others will try it to help get their fat gone!