If you follow my I’mperfect Life page on facebook then you probably know about the Dirt In Your Skirt challenge in which I’m participating.  13 Races in 2013.  Today I completed my second with 11 to go!

I even sported a make-shift I’mperfect Life shirt that I made this morning using a tacky iron-on logo from my printer. (I changed my pants three times and my shirt four times before leaving the house)

Today’s race was nothing like last week’s Spartan Sprint.  First of all the weather was GORGEOUS and secondly it didn’t involve any mud or obstacles, just running– or runnishing as I like to call it.

Running- ugh!  I am trying so hard to change my attitude about running but it’s hard!  I can honestly say that I don’t HATE it anymore but I’m far from loving it…or even really liking it.  It’s SOOOOOOOOOO boring!  So boring!  Ugh!  It doesn’t matter how beautiful the scenery or how loud and awesome the music is I just get BORED and all I can think after the first mile is, “Am I done yet?” Meh.

So today’s race was just a straight up 5k.  No biggie, right?  I mean I did a 4.5 miler last week at the Spartan, this should have been a piece of cake.  I guess in all actuality it was shorter, took only about a quarter of the time and didn’t include any obstacles…except for the last kilometer being completely uphill…gross.  But let me tell you how it went…

Starting line- got my headphones in…knowing they are going to fall out in a matter of minutes.  Got Pandora thumping.  Got my Nike+ App loaded…CRAP!  I haven’t logged into it on my new phone yet! Hurry, hurry!  Yes I want to sync with facebook.  Username, password…GO!  And I don’t me “go” as in, touch “go” on the screen, I mean GO as in, start running!  Crap.  Abort.  No Nike+ tracking for me. I did however remember to start my stopwatch as I crossed the starting line. Yay!

Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Mile one marker…12:38!  Sweet!  I’m on track for under 40 minutes!  Oh God. Cramps. I’m going to poop my pants. Push through.  Push through.  Nope, gotta walk.  That’s better.  Spit to the right.  Spit again. Okay, run.  Run. Run. Walk. Run, walk. Run, walk. The 40 minute pacer is catching up. Crap. Run. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. I gotta walk. I’m going to run to that trash can. Run. Trash Can!  Walk. walk, walk, walk.  Why am I walking so slow?  40 minute pacer passes me. Pick it up!  Walk faster. Walk. Run. Run. Run. Oh look a little hill. Shuffle run. Run. (At this point I knew I didn’t have much farther before the rest of the course was going to be uphill)  Just run a little more. I. CAN’T. Run any farther!  Look behind.  No 45 minute pacer.  Okay. Walk.  Run. Walk. Run. Pass a couple people. Walk. And here it is…the last kilometer almost completely uphill…a curvy hill.  Run the straights walk the curves. Flat for about 20 meters. UP a big hill.  WALK. About a 10th of a mile to go.  At this point the 45 minute pacer was running next to me. I. AM. GOING. TO. RUN. THE. REST. OF. THE. WAY. People were everywhere at this point.  Cheering and offering encouragement.  Cramp.  I am SERIOUSLY going to poop my pants!  The finish line is just around this corner.  Pick it up. Look at watch- 44:38.  Crap. Run. Faster. Don’t poop. Don’t poop. DON’T POOP!

Finish line. 45:35

My crossfit coach was there, “Nice Job!”

“I feel like I’m going to poop my pants!”

I’m not sure what his response was.  Or the response of the dozens of other people within ear-shot.  I had headphones in so I have no idea how loud I said it but I know my voice carries very well.

Walk it off.

It is now five hours later and I still haven’t pooped.

All-in-all it was good, believe it or not.  In fact, there were people passing out pamphlets for another 5k next weekend that I was like, “Oh yeah!  Awesome!”  And meant it…mostly because it benefits orphan dogs, but still.  I always feel good AFTER a run.  My knees are a little sore initially from inflammation but my muscles feel so loose and of course there’s the endorphin-high.  They could have handed me a pamphlet for an arm cutting off contest and I probably would have thought it was a great idea.

Though I was disappointed in my time (which is a feeling I really have no right to feel considering I do not run on a regular basis AT ALL) I was glad I did it…like always. I shaved 9 minutes off my last officially timed 5k (which was ALL flat) from four months so there definitely some marked progress.  All I can think is, imagine how much better it would have been had I actually TRAINED properly.

Maybe next time.


It was great to see my friend Jenn- who killed it in 28 minutes even after having the stomach flu all week.  Runners!

And to, you know, replenish my glycogen levels, I had a 2 half cup cakes for breakfast.

Oh and at the end of the race my shirt looked like this…won’t be doing that again!

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