First, let me tell you how much I hate the word “regain”, because, as you know, if you’ve been with me a while, I have strong opinions about some (often times benign) things. The word “regain” is one of them.
My Rant...
“Regain” bugs me because it promotes feelings of “failure”. I see women in my community and coaching programs talk about regain like it is the absolute worse thing in the world that could happen to them, not because of the affects it has had on their bodies, but the affects it has had on how they feel about themselves…and worse, how they perceive others think about them.
Feelings of shame, embarrassment, depression, and anger are common. This makes me sad, partially because I know how it feels, but also because I know it doesn’t have to be that way. I want to be able to tap my magic wand and take it all away. If only I had magic powers.
Since I am but a mere mortal, the only thing I can do is help by offering tips (like this email!) coaching, and support (like in my new program, EVOLve). That help can be pretty powerful though, so there’s that! Yay!
If you’ve experienced regain, please know that I’ve been there and I get it. In fact, I’m currently 35-ish pounds from my lowest adult weight which I reached in 2014.
My Story…
Since then I have been pregnant 3 times and have given birth, by c-section, to two baby boys who are now 2 and almost 4. And while I miss my pre-baby body, I can say with all of the pride in the world that I am so freaking proud of myself for maintaining my weight for the past two years despite all of the challenges I’ve faced as a mom of two babies 21 months apart. This proves to me that I know what I’m doing. That I am in control. It confirms to me that I am doing it right, that I have changed my relationship with food, fitness, myself and my body…that I have changed my life.
I can feel myself getting closer to being ready to “buckle down” and lose the weight, but for now, I am just hanging out, caring for myself and my body, and living my life, which feels pretty damned good!
Okay, enough about me, here’s what YOU need to know…
My Help…
Five Tips for YOU, if You’ve Gained Weight After Losing
(See, doesn’t that sound better than “regain”?) 🙂
1) Forgive yourself.
This is probably a no-brainer since Rule #1 for living a Happy, Healthy I’mperfect Life is Forgive Yourself Always, but that rule exists for a reason. Feelings of regret, remorse, guilt, and shame are not good motivators, no matter how much we think they are. They don’t make you take care of yourself and your body better, instead they beat you down, keep you stuck, and perpetuate those feelings because they take away your power. So forgive yourself.
2) Choose from a place of love
Once you forgive yourself, you’re able to change your mindset. The reason you lost the weight before was because you believed you could. You felt good. You made choices that felt good. You took pride in those choices. Those feelings and those choices built momentum and ultimately resulted you ability to lose the weight. Positive thoughts, create positive feelings, which create positive actions-– it’s that whole perpetual motion thing again. Right?
3) Don’t try to do what you did before
You are not the same person you were a year ago. four years ago, 10 years ago. You are you, now. Your life is different. You are older (and wiser). Your body has changed,your lifestyle has changed too– priorities, responsibilities, even your desires have probably changed. If keto worked for you before and if you’ve been trying to get back on it, over and over again but keep “falling off the wagon”, YOU NEED TO FIND A NEW WAGON! One that supports the life you’re living, now.
4) Be honest with yourself
You must identify what resulted in the weight gain, and work on that first. You can diet and exercise whenever you’re ready, but if the culprit that caused the gain still exists, you’ll be spinning your wheels forever.
5) Know that you are not alone
You have no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Somewhere between 90 and 95 percent of people who lose weight, gain weight after the loss. Most gain all or more. So, you know, you could celebrate knowing that you are completely normal! I mean, really, how often do we get to be totally normal? Tee-he-he. Seriously though, weight gain after loss is VERY NORMAL. Why? Because…
Losing weight is one thing, keeping it off is another.
When you go on a diet you have rules and boundaries and you follow a plan. You learn how to lose weight, but you don’t learn how to maintain it.
In order to maintain weight loss you must change your relationship with food, fitness, yourself, and your body. and create sustainable habits that support weight maintenance. I’m not talking a gym routine or eating eggs for breakfast every morning, I’m talking about how you must learn how to deal with your shit. Because your shit is what keeping you in the cycle of diet-fail-repeat.
Now, if you’re ready to figure this shit out, once and for all…