Wednesday was a high anxiety day that had me feeling totally overwhelmed with a whole bunch of things that are totally out of my control. Between body issues that are keeping me from goals I’d planned to achieve after my lipedema surgeries, to my yard that is not cooperating and allowing me to create the outdoor space I want for my family. As silly as that sounds, it was really, REALLY bothering me. Keep reading…
  1. Our yard is huge (almost an acre)
  2. The grass hadn’t been moved yet this spring because…
  3. Our yard has an underground spring– we legit have crawdads in our yard.
  4. When it rains it takes a long time for the ground to dry out– the whole thing becomes a soupy swamp.
  5. We have had over 20″ of rain in the last three months.
  6. We hired a company to build drainage ditches and re-grade parts of our yard to help manage the water, but they can’t get their equipment into our yard until it dries out.
  7. We also can’t get our riding mower down there for the same reasons.
  8. I want to take my flower garden to the next level this year. I’ve invested in dozens of bulbs and plants.
  9. I can’t plant them until after the grading work is done because– heavy equipment driving through our yard.
  10. Yesterday I decided I was going to take matters into my own hands and just buy a tiller and create my own damned ditches.
  11. I spent half the morning trying to find one to buy.
I was so frustrated and irritated feeling like there was nothing I could do to make this better. The grass was 6″+ high and all I could think was “snakes are gonna move in!” (My number one fear is snakes)
After two hours of feeling my shoulders get closer and closer to my ears, feeling like I wanted to cry and scream.
After getting unfairly annoyed at my 2 small boys because I was angry at things beyond my control…
I got out the push mower and pushed that bitch for 6 hours– through the mud, over crawdad holes, up hills, down hills and stopped frequently to tip the mower over and dig the clumps of wet grass off of the clogged undercarriage.
It was hard. But it felt good.
To stay motivated, I kept telling myself, “you’re a beast!”  And I felt awesome when I was done!
It’s so easy to get caught up in the things we can’t control, and allow them to make us feel anxious, helpless and overwhelmed.
But when we take a step back and ask, “What CAN I do?”
There’s usually something we can do that will allow us to feel at least a little more in control, and provide a sense of accomplishment and peace.
So next time you feel your shoulders creeping up, and you want to cry and scream and take out your frustrations on everyone around you (or yourself with food, alcohol, or other behavior that doesn’t honor yourself, your body, or your happy, healthy lifestyle goals) stop– take three deep breaths and ask yourself, “What can you control?”