It’s been a little over a week now since the two little boys came to stay with us and almost a week since their sister came too. Over these past several days a lot of changes have taken place. Changes in the kids, Brett, our home and ME.

The kids have certainly come out of their shells, so there’s that. 😀

All three are incredibly smart and it’s so rewarding to see how much they’ve learned and grown in such a short amount of time.

I can’t go into much detail on here due to confidentialy restrictions, but I can tell you that everything we learned in our training has been extremely beneficial. There are so many things we take for granted; things that we expect kids of a certain age will know and know how to do, things that we consider basic, but children that have been in “situations”

For right now, I can tell you that we’re seeing a lot of personality. A LOT! We have the beautiful, quiet, creative, future engineer who almost always follows directions every time they’re given (I have experienced a couple of pre-teen eye-rolls though, I giggle on the inside); the comedian who also happens to be a great helper, extremely inquisitive and completely adorable; and the youngest- another comedian who, if allowed, would eat pizza and chocolate for every meal– very affectionate, Spongebob-loving wild child.

Speaking of Spongebob– I had never watched an episode until yesterday. I thought it was a kids show- WRONG! OMG, what an obnoxious little prick! Seriously. New rule in this house- NO SPONGEBOB! I haven’t broken it to the kids yet, they’ll figure it out eventually.

Rules, ah rules. It’s so hard going from zero kids to THREE! You have to be quick on your feet! I have to be three steps ahead of three kids at all times- that makes like, nine steps.

I try to give an explaination for my rules. There have been a couple of times when it was “because I said so”, but for the most part I give an explanation. I believe that’s the responsibility of the parent. Even as adults we have rules but those rules aren’t “because I said so”. They are rules that are enforced to procect us. I believe that if a reason for a rule isn’t given, the child will never understand the potential consequence and be have the ability to be pro-active in their decision making. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in consequences and learning from them. (If you don’t want to wear a coat outside, that’s fine. When you get cold, you’ll realize you need it.) But I’m not going to let a child play with a light socket and figure out that when you get shocked you die. Know what I mean? Additionally, it helps keep me in check. It’s too easy for parents to become lazy and say “because I said so” just because they, themselves don’t want to put forht any effort. If I don’t have a good reason for not doing or allowing something (like I don’t want to get off the couch) then that’s not a good enough reason- for either of us.

So how is all of this affecting me? Well let me tell you. I couldn’t be happier. Seriously. I know I’m honeymooning right now and will eventually need a break, but at this very moment there is no other place I’d rather be. As lame as it sounds, I finally feel complete. I have never felt so confident. All of the years I spent doing theater/films, even with accolades and standing ovations, they pale in comparison to how I feel now.

Not only have I found new confidence, but I’m becoming a better person. Before, my day consisted of rolling out of bed at 8:45, sitting at my computer till 5:30 or 6 with the occasional trip to the bathroom or kitchen. Cooking dinner, leaving the dishes to pile in the sink and plopping down in front of the TV– on a typical weekday. Now it’s non-stop! Remember that whole 9 steps ahead thing? Yeah, that takes A LOT of work! But I LOVE it! It’s like a switch turned on inside my brain. My house is more organized than it’s ever been. There’s still work to be done on my desk and in my bedroom/bathroom, but all of the living spaces are completely functional. Everything has its place and “systems” have been implemented. I’m sure the logical explanation is that I’m being more active and more blood is pumping to my brain, but I prefer to think of it as magic. Whatever it is, it’s making me feel like a better person and I like it.

I wish I could document every thought and feeling that I’m experiencing. But the best I can do is blog some highlights and hopefully, HOPEFULLY effectively express the unimaginable ammount of JOY I have.

I have a wonderful husband and three awesome kids.

Oh also, a lot of people have been wondering how long we’ll have the kids. We should know within the next week if they’re going to be here for a while. We HOPING the answer is yes. Since the ultimate goal is reunification with parents (or at least a family member) they may be going to stay with someone else, but we won’t know for at least a few more days. If it’s decided that they’ll stay with us, they should be with us for a minimum of six months. I told the social worker, “six months, PLEASE give us at least six months, I KNOW we can make a huge difference in just six months”. He seemed to think that was likely that they’ll be with us for at least six months, but it’s ultimately up to the courts since the, technically, the state has custody. So please keep your fingers crossed.

For now, they are OUR kids and will be treated and loved like they are going to be here forever. –More on that later.

Featured In

Featured In