I’m in a funk. A serious funk. I’ll probably (hopefully) be okay in a day or two, but it may be longer. This may be the real thing. A REAL funk not just a bad mood or feeling down for a few days.

I can’t remember if I blogged about the cruise. I don’t think I did. The first of June Brett and I went on a cruise with my family to the Bahamas. It was really great spending time with my family just hanging out. The problem is that that’s all I COULD do. I ended up getting my period the night before we left and it ended up being a real doozie. Like words can’t describe the extremes of how bad it was. Suffice it to say that Saturday morning I went to the Lido deck for breakfast, sat down to eat, coughed, realized I needed to rush to the bathroom, stood up and dripped, literally DRIPPED all over the floor– all while wearing THREE pads, like a diaper. It was bad. I spent the rest of the day in our cabin, moving from the bed to the shower every half hour. Needless to say it was quite miserable.

My mom and Gramma witness this episode and made me promise I would go to the doctor. As soon as we got to the mainland I called the doctor’s office and made an appointment for the next day.

She ran all the typical blood work plus a full thyroid panel, hormone levels and some deficiencies including vitamin D and Iron plus she tested my sedimentation rate which check for inflammation. This test can determine whether you need to be tested further for things like lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, etc.

Now don’t get too worried. As far as I know I don’t have a life threatening disease. Even though that “scary” test came back positive for inflammation, I also tested positive for anemia which according to the research I did makes the former, null and void so I’m not rushing off to the rheumatologist just yet. I’ve been taking the prescribed iron supplements twice a day as directed and plan to get retested this week to see if my sed rate is better.

So where does the funk come from? Well it comes from extreme exhaustion. Like ridiculously extreme exhaustion. It’s almost like the mono is back…maybe it never left. But this is a little different, plus I had felt completely fine for half of April and all of May. So I’m giving the credit to the anemia. This exhaustion is full body, including the mind and the mind is the most aggravating part. I constantly feel like I’m 10 seconds behind everything that’s going on around me. I feel like my personality is gone, my sense of humor is missing and my funny has escaped. On top of this I feel the need for sunlight but it’s too damned hot to be outside. Not to mention that whole exhaustion thing again which requires me to fight to stay awake.

I’m so effin sick of looking at the television. My ears feel like they’re going to bleed if I have to listen to one more TV show. All I want to do is cry. I want to leave my house, go DO SOMETHING, but I can’t think of anything to do that meets my needs and limitations.

I have this inexplicable urge to be at the beach- to lay on the beach and soak up the warm sun surrounded by fresh salty air, the crashing of the waves becoming white noise in the background and the water just feet away. But that’s not an option this weekend.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m going CRAZY!!!

I think I might go buy a kiddie pool and set it up in the backyard tomorrow.