MAY 16, 2014
Even though I have lost 164lbs and I am at my doctor’s goal weight…
Even though I have been doing crossfit 4-5 days a week for almost 2 years and eat a very clean diet (90% of the time)…
Even though I am a certified personal trainer and a Spartan, a Rugged Maniac, a Warrior and a Triathlete…
This is what my body looks like (almost) naked.
Because of this I try very hard to stay focused on fitness goals as my measure of success rather than my appearance, or the number on the scale, or the size of my jeans, but sometimes, just sometimes, I forget…
I am extremely passionate about sharing my story and the lessons I’ve learned in hopes of inspiring others to live their own I’mperfect Life!

MAY 16, 2014
A few weeks ago I did just that…I forgot. I was faced with a “Look Good Naked Challenge” at my gym that I knew I had no chance in hell of winning. I remembered that summer was just around the corner and realized that I would go a 25th year wearing shorts over my bathing suit to hide the legs I’ve hated since I was 11. I tried on a jean skirt that I wanted so bad only to see my misshapen knees that have kept me from wearing anything above them throughout all of my adult years, and out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks…I felt frustrated, discouraged and sad. Like really, really sad. I even cried a little. I felt like all the hard work that I’d been doing wasn’t paying off and it made me want to give up.
I spent a good week or so feeling sorry for myself, getting caught up in the vanity of it all. I didn’t work as hard at the gym, I didn’t eat as well as I usually do and every time I looked in the mirror I felt worse than I had the time before.
I can’t recall if there was something specific that got me to pull my head out of my ass, but fortunately something did. (could have just been the end of my period…fricken hormones!) Regardless of what it was, I decided that it was time to REALLY celebrate what my ugly body CAN DO rather than focus on what it looks like…or doesn’t look like. So I asked my friend Emily, the amazing photographer, to take some pictures of me DOING the THINGS I have NEVER, EVER…EVER in my entire life…not even as a kid (with the exception of the cartwheel) have been able to do until now.
So here you go! Today I am celebrating what my body is capable of doing because of the lifestyle changes that I’ve made and the hard work I’ve done in and out of the gym.
I am PROUD of my ugly body because...
THIS BACK AND THOSE ARMS
ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS (no strings attached!)
THIS BACKSIDE
CAN DO A CARTWHEEL A GRACEFUL AS ANY (NOVICE) GYMNAST
THESE SADDLEBAGS, STRETCH MARKS AND CELLULITE
CAN’T STOP ME FROM BEING SUPER FLEXIBLE
THAT LOOSE UNDERARM SKIN
DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T CLIMB THIS THING
THE REMAINING FAT ALL OVER MY BODY
DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FLIP A FLIPPIN TIRE
MY FLABBY TUMMY
HAS THE CORE STRENGTH THAT ALLOWS ME TO ACT LIKE KID
THESE PUDGY LEGS
PROVIDE ME WITH ENOUGH STRENGTH AND STABILITY TO DO A ONE LEGGED SQUAT (with great amounts of concentration!)
AND THIS…ALL OF THIS
WOULDN’T KEEP ME FROM LOOKING STRONG AND SEXY…
IF I LIVED ON THE MOON
Besides, I still look cute in a pair of jeans…
AND I’M…
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE I AM DISPLAYING MY BODY DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS…
I NEVER, EVER WANT TO BE AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS I WAS IN THIS BODY 365 DAYS A YEAR
PS: This post was originally written in May of 2014 when I was 36 years old and before I had children. A lot has changed since then, especially my body, but my love, appreciation, and commitment to taking care of it hasn’t. It is still an amazing body that let’s me live an amazing life. <3
If you're struggling to live your ideal happy and healthy lifestyle, in a body that you love, please consider joining me and a group of incredible women who are working to do the same!
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Thank you for posting the link to this article on FB. I just started the C25K program in January. I encountered some female-related health problems in February that set me back a couple weeks and have slowed me down. I’m frustrated with how slow the progress is. I am discouraged by thoughts that my body will never look good again no matter how hard I try. I want to look attractive for my husband but I don’t know if that will ever happen and it is so hard to work through the pain in hopes that maybe 3 or 4 years from now I’ll reach my goal weight. I’m only losing about 1 pound a week, maybe less now that I’ve had to slow down my workouts. But I need to lose about 180 pounds. That is a very very long way to go at such a slow pace. I haven’t liked my body since college. But I’m really starting to hate it more than ever for all kinds of reasons. Thank you for the courage to show the world at large what a REAL person looks like who has worked as hard as you have to lose the weight you’ve lost. Everyone wants us to look like supermodels. Some of us can never attain that goal. But I wonder if there are things we can do that supermodels can not do? Do we have any physical advantages that they don’t have? I know I have 1 thing that they don’t have. I have a husband who loves me anyway, regardless of how heavy I am. That love is worth fighting for. I continue working out so I can get stronger and be able to do more things with him that I haven’t been able to do for a very long time.
I really enjoyed your blog and am struggling to get to where you are. I lost 120 lbs and have this love hate relationship with my body. I workout 6 days a week, lift, count macros, etc. and I love the things my body can do but I still have issues with accepting that the drooping skin and stretch marks aren’t going any where no matter what I do. Clothed I feel great but I live at the beach and spend a lot of time paddleboarding, etc so I am in a swimsuit a lot. Don’t get me wrong I put it on and do my thing but it is so hard to deal with the way my body looks. Thanks to your article it is making me refocus and hopefully one day I will be at a place of full acceptance. I am working on it but just not quite there yet!
You are AMAZING! Your confidence in your accomplishment is so purely joyful and inspiring! Praise the Lord you are finding joy in your newfound strength and capabilities! You are an inspiration to us all that measure our worth by our imperfect appearance instead of our hard work and strengths. Thank you for this brave post and all the work you put in sharing it with us!