MAY 16, 2014
Even though I have lost 164lbs and I am at my doctor’s goal weight…
Even though I have been doing crossfit 4-5 days a week for almost 2 years and eat a very clean diet (90% of the time)…
Even though I am a certified personal trainer and a Spartan, a Rugged Maniac, a Warrior and a Triathlete…
This is what my body looks like (almost) naked.
Because of this I try very hard to stay focused on fitness goals as my measure of success rather than my appearance, or the number on the scale, or the size of my jeans, but sometimes, just sometimes, I forget…
I am extremely passionate about sharing my story and the lessons I’ve learned in hopes of inspiring others to live their own I’mperfect Life!

MAY 16, 2014
A few weeks ago I did just that…I forgot. I was faced with a “Look Good Naked Challenge” at my gym that I knew I had no chance in hell of winning. I remembered that summer was just around the corner and realized that I would go a 25th year wearing shorts over my bathing suit to hide the legs I’ve hated since I was 11. I tried on a jean skirt that I wanted so bad only to see my misshapen knees that have kept me from wearing anything above them throughout all of my adult years, and out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks…I felt frustrated, discouraged and sad. Like really, really sad. I even cried a little. I felt like all the hard work that I’d been doing wasn’t paying off and it made me want to give up.
I spent a good week or so feeling sorry for myself, getting caught up in the vanity of it all. I didn’t work as hard at the gym, I didn’t eat as well as I usually do and every time I looked in the mirror I felt worse than I had the time before.
I can’t recall if there was something specific that got me to pull my head out of my ass, but fortunately something did. (could have just been the end of my period…fricken hormones!) Regardless of what it was, I decided that it was time to REALLY celebrate what my ugly body CAN DO rather than focus on what it looks like…or doesn’t look like. So I asked my friend Emily, the amazing photographer, to take some pictures of me DOING the THINGS I have NEVER, EVER…EVER in my entire life…not even as a kid (with the exception of the cartwheel) have been able to do until now.
So here you go! Today I am celebrating what my body is capable of doing because of the lifestyle changes that I’ve made and the hard work I’ve done in and out of the gym.
I am PROUD of my ugly body because...
THIS BACK AND THOSE ARMS
ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS (no strings attached!)
THIS BACKSIDE
CAN DO A CARTWHEEL A GRACEFUL AS ANY (NOVICE) GYMNAST
THESE SADDLEBAGS, STRETCH MARKS AND CELLULITE
CAN’T STOP ME FROM BEING SUPER FLEXIBLE
THAT LOOSE UNDERARM SKIN
DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T CLIMB THIS THING
THE REMAINING FAT ALL OVER MY BODY
DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FLIP A FLIPPIN TIRE
MY FLABBY TUMMY
HAS THE CORE STRENGTH THAT ALLOWS ME TO ACT LIKE KID
THESE PUDGY LEGS
PROVIDE ME WITH ENOUGH STRENGTH AND STABILITY TO DO A ONE LEGGED SQUAT (with great amounts of concentration!)
AND THIS…ALL OF THIS
WOULDN’T KEEP ME FROM LOOKING STRONG AND SEXY…
IF I LIVED ON THE MOON
Besides, I still look cute in a pair of jeans…
AND I’M…
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE I AM DISPLAYING MY BODY DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS…
I NEVER, EVER WANT TO BE AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS I WAS IN THIS BODY 365 DAYS A YEAR
PS: This post was originally written in May of 2014 when I was 36 years old and before I had children. A lot has changed since then, especially my body, but my love, appreciation, and commitment to taking care of it hasn’t. It is still an amazing body that let’s me live an amazing life. <3
If you're struggling to live your ideal happy and healthy lifestyle, in a body that you love, please consider joining me and a group of incredible women who are working to do the same!
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This is the first time I’ve come across your site. I’m inspired to say the least! When I was in high school I got up to an uncomfortable 190 pounds and pushed myself to lose 45 pounds through healthy eating but mostly exercise- running and volleyball. My freshman year of college was my onset of major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Through the mental health issues, panic attacks, and numerous medication trials I gained back those 45 plus another 60. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I celebrate my mind and the fact that I never took a break from school, graduating with a 3.7 gpa and a bachelors in psychology from Penn State. Now I’ve been accepted to a graduate program to get my MA in counseling and being able to stay positive about what I have achieved in spite of my struggles and in spite of what I still don’t love about myself has provided me with the strength to keep going. I’m ready now to push hard again and lose this weight for good. A herniated disc and sciatica, mental illness, and all the discouragement in the world will not keep me from my goal.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and opening the door for others to accept and love themselves!
And please believe me when I say this, you ARE beautiful. Yes- because of your personality, courage, and capabilities but even on top of all that you (your body, all curves and idiosyncrasies, included) is beautiful. Gorgeous, in fact.
Stay cool!
Liz 🙂
You are one tough cookie! I love it! Congratulations on all of your successes and for never giving up! That’s the hardest part, eh?
Thank you very much for the sweet compliments. <3
Thank you so much for sharing. Makes it real that everyone has their insecurities that can hold us back but look at the strength we have also. I needed to read this. My goal weight is 15- pounds. CW-200.
My heart is set to run a half marathon for my 32nd birthday in oct.
You can do it! I would encourage you to focus on the training for the 1/2 without putting much emphasis on the loss. There is such victory in achieving fitness goals!
your an inspiration a confident, beautiful breath of fresh air.
Good Luck with all you do
thank you!