Even though I have lost 164lbs and I am at my doctor’s goal weight…
Even though I have been doing crossfit 4-5 days a week for almost 2 years and eat a very clean diet (90% of the time)…
Even though I am a certified personal trainer and a Spartan, a Rugged Maniac, a Warrior and a Triathlete…
This is what my body looks like (almost) naked
Because of this I try very hard to stay focused on fitness goals as my measure of success rather than my appearance, or the number on the scale, or the size of my jeans, but sometimes, just sometimes, I forget…
I am extremely passionate about sharing my story and the lessons I’ve learned in hopes of inspiring others to live their own I’mperfect Life!
MAY 16, 2014
A few weeks ago I did just that…I forgot. I was faced with a “Look Good Naked Challenge” at my gym that I knew I had no chance in hell of winning. I remembered that summer was just around the corner and realized that I would go a 25th year wearing shorts over my bathing suit to hide the legs I’ve hated since I was 11. I tried on a jean skirt that I wanted so bad only to see my misshapen knees that have kept me from wearing anything above them throughout all of my adult years, and out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks…I felt frustrated, discouraged and sad. Like really, really sad. I even cried a little. I felt like all the hard work that I’d been doing wasn’t paying off and it made me want to give up.
I spent a good week or so feeling sorry for myself, getting caught up in the vanity of it all. I didn’t work as hard at the gym, I didn’t eat as well as I usually do and every time I looked in the mirror I felt worse than I had the time before.
I can’t recall if there was something specific that got me to pull my head out of my ass, but fortunately something did. (could have just been the end of my period…fricken hormones!) Regardless of what it was, I decided that it was time to REALLY celebrate what my ugly body CAN DO rather than focus on what it looks like…or doesn’t look like. So I asked my friend Emily, the amazing photographer, to take some pictures of me DOING the THINGS I have NEVER, EVER…EVER in my entire life…not even as a kid (with the exception of the cartwheel) have been able to do until now.
So here you go! Today I am celebrating what my body is capable of doing because of the lifestyle changes that I’ve made and the hard work I’ve done in and out of the gym.
I am PROUD of my ugly body because...
THIS BACK AND THOSE ARMS
ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS (no strings attached!)
THIS BACKSIDE
CAN DO A CARTWHEEL A GRACEFUL AS ANY (NOVICE) GYMNAST
THESE SADDLEBAGS, STRETCH MARKS AND CELLULITE
CAN’T STOP ME FROM BEING SUPER FLEXIBLE
THAT LOOSE UNDERARM SKIN
DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T CLIMB THIS THING
THE REMAINING FAT ALL OVER MY BODY
DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FLIP A FLIPPIN TIRE
MY FLABBY TUMMY
HAS THE CORE STRENGTH THAT ALLOWS ME TO ACT LIKE KID
THESE PUDGY LEGS
PROVIDE ME WITH ENOUGH STRENGTH AND STABILITY TO DO A ONE LEGGED SQUAT (with great amounts of concentration!)
AND THIS…ALL OF THIS
WOULDN’T KEEP ME FROM LOOKING STRONG AND SEXY…
IF I LIVED ON THE MOON
Besides, I still look cute in a pair of jeans…
AND I’M…
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE I AM DISPLAYING MY BODY DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS…
I NEVER, EVER WANT TO BE AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS I WAS IN THIS BODY 365 DAYS A YEAR
PS: This post was originally written in May of 2014. Since then I have been pregnant three times and have given birth to two baby boys! (4/2016 and 1/2018)
There's no such thing as before and after, only then and now, but I still love my ugly body, and I'm on a mission to help other women love their's too!
CLICK HERE to read the latest in my “Ugly Body Evolution”!
PRESS HIGHLIGHTS
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I wish I would have your ovaries and be as proud as you are of your body I lost 200 lbs and have hanging skin in every part of my body. I love my effort and how my life change with this weight loss and my new active life style. I am great speaking to other about being positive and accepting themselves as they are but at the same time dying to get plastic surgery to get rid of my extra skin…very contradicting I love myself and have most good days than bad ones but when those bad days hit me I just wont even see myself on the mirror or leave my house.
I totally get that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful. We all deserve to feel beautiful and confident in our skin. I don’t love the way my body looks, but I do love what it can do. I choose to focus on that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish it looked different. 🙂
Andrea- I stumbled upon this totally randomly on Pinterest. I loved what you had to say. I loved the pictures you posted. I just had to say, you are honestly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen! I’m not saying that in a “oh you’re really beautiful on the inside and that’s what counts” kind of what, although I sense from what you’ve written, you surely are that as well. No, I mean stunning on the outside! You’re absolutely stunningly gorgeous! I hope you know that. You have a smile that lights up the whole screen! (or room, I would imagine!)
Keep up the great work!! Thank you for posting something so real!
Thank you Chelsea. I like who and what I am. I think everyone should. We all deserve to feel confident and loved by ourselves. <3
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