Even though I have lost 164lbs and I am at my doctor’s goal weight…
Even though I have been doing crossfit 4-5 days a week for almost 2 years and eat a very clean diet (90% of the time)…
Even though I am a certified personal trainer and a Spartan, a Rugged Maniac, a Warrior and a Triathlete…
This is what my body looks like (almost) naked
Because of this I try very hard to stay focused on fitness goals as my measure of success rather than my appearance, or the number on the scale, or the size of my jeans, but sometimes, just sometimes, I forget…
I am extremely passionate about sharing my story and the lessons I’ve learned in hopes of inspiring others to live their own I’mperfect Life!
MAY 16, 2014
A few weeks ago I did just that…I forgot. I was faced with a “Look Good Naked Challenge” at my gym that I knew I had no chance in hell of winning. I remembered that summer was just around the corner and realized that I would go a 25th year wearing shorts over my bathing suit to hide the legs I’ve hated since I was 11. I tried on a jean skirt that I wanted so bad only to see my misshapen knees that have kept me from wearing anything above them throughout all of my adult years, and out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks…I felt frustrated, discouraged and sad. Like really, really sad. I even cried a little. I felt like all the hard work that I’d been doing wasn’t paying off and it made me want to give up.
I spent a good week or so feeling sorry for myself, getting caught up in the vanity of it all. I didn’t work as hard at the gym, I didn’t eat as well as I usually do and every time I looked in the mirror I felt worse than I had the time before.
I can’t recall if there was something specific that got me to pull my head out of my ass, but fortunately something did. (could have just been the end of my period…fricken hormones!) Regardless of what it was, I decided that it was time to REALLY celebrate what my ugly body CAN DO rather than focus on what it looks like…or doesn’t look like. So I asked my friend Emily, the amazing photographer, to take some pictures of me DOING the THINGS I have NEVER, EVER…EVER in my entire life…not even as a kid (with the exception of the cartwheel) have been able to do until now.
So here you go! Today I am celebrating what my body is capable of doing because of the lifestyle changes that I’ve made and the hard work I’ve done in and out of the gym.
I am PROUD of my ugly body because...
THIS BACK AND THOSE ARMS
ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS (no strings attached!)
THIS BACKSIDE
CAN DO A CARTWHEEL A GRACEFUL AS ANY (NOVICE) GYMNAST
THESE SADDLEBAGS, STRETCH MARKS AND CELLULITE
CAN’T STOP ME FROM BEING SUPER FLEXIBLE
THAT LOOSE UNDERARM SKIN
DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T CLIMB THIS THING
THE REMAINING FAT ALL OVER MY BODY
DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO FLIP A FLIPPIN TIRE
MY FLABBY TUMMY
HAS THE CORE STRENGTH THAT ALLOWS ME TO ACT LIKE KID
THESE PUDGY LEGS
PROVIDE ME WITH ENOUGH STRENGTH AND STABILITY TO DO A ONE LEGGED SQUAT (with great amounts of concentration!)
AND THIS…ALL OF THIS
WOULDN’T KEEP ME FROM LOOKING STRONG AND SEXY…
IF I LIVED ON THE MOON
Besides, I still look cute in a pair of jeans…
AND I’M…
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
NO MATTER HOW UNCOMFORTABLE I AM DISPLAYING MY BODY DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS…
I NEVER, EVER WANT TO BE AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS I WAS IN THIS BODY 365 DAYS A YEAR
PS: This post was originally written in May of 2014. Since then I have been pregnant three times and have given birth to two baby boys! (4/2016 and 1/2018)
There's no such thing as before and after, only then and now, but I still love my ugly body, and I'm on a mission to help other women love their's too!
CLICK HERE to read the latest in my “Ugly Body Evolution”!
PRESS HIGHLIGHTS
You’re simply amazing.
Thank you Amy, I bet you’re pretty awesome too! <3
Though am a plastic surgeon but i love how you respect and appreciate your body. I will all the patient have the beautiful mind and thinking that you have .i have added your page in my snap. You are so inspiring .
Thank you so much! I’m sorry for my slow reply.
What an incredible young woman you are, beautiful on the inside and outside. At 64 years old, I am hoping to adopt your positive attitude. I shouldn’t complain, as I was physicially petite in my younger days and was blessed to love being active. As my lifestyle changed, I developed OSA and insomnia. My metabolism and body took a beating and I began to hate my mirror. Short legs are the worst, add spider veins, cellulite and now aging creepy skin and shorts and bathing suits are not worn in public. (Not to mention recent hernia and diastasis recti surgery gone bad.) I applaud you for sharing and feel you deserve accolades for your accomplishments. Hopefully I will reach a point of acceptance and stop hating my old body.
Thank you Cindy. I hope that you are able to love and appreciate your body where it is right now. I’m sure the OSA has creating limitations, but I truly believe that love and appreciation comes from connection and use. I hope you are able to find ways to use your body in ways that feel good. It may not be running marathons, but having a body that is able to move us to the places we want to go, even with limitations, is a body worthy of love. We only get one in our lifetime. <3 Hugs!