Read them. Learn them. Love them. Live them.

More Self-Love. Better Self-Care. Sustainable Habits.

Be Patient with Yourself and Kind with Your Words

I can’t tell you how many times I beat myself up for eating the “wrong” foods, for not working out, for saying something stupid or some other “mistake” I’d made throughout the day.

I used to lie in bed at night feeling angry and sad that I messed up, somehow and let feelings of regret, remorse, guilt and shame eat at me. I was convinced that I was broken and that I was never going to lose weight or live a happy, healthy life.

Those days usually started off pretty good but I’d have a “slip up” and then beat myself up over it and let that turn into an inner monologue of defeat. I’d berate myself and make promises that tomorrow would be better but it rarely was, and even if it was, I’d eventually find myself back to beating myself up again.

Once I stopped this thought pattern, which started with rule number one (Forgive yourself always) and started giving myself grace, a whole new world of potential opened up for me, in all areas of my life. This is why I now believe in the importance of being patient with yourself and kind with your words about yourself and others.

We are so hard on ourselves. For whatever reason we expect perfection, or at least close to it, when it comes to who and what we are, as though we are, somehow, more capable of this than others.

We beat ourselves up, believing that we’re broken and need to be fixed, or worse, that are incapable of repair.

We don’t trust ourselves. We don’t love our bodies. We don’t see our strengths, only our weaknesses, and we let all of this negative self-talk determine our self-worth. Worse, we let these feelings of inadequacy lead to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, perpetuating the downward spiral.

This may sound dramatic, and hopefully it’s not how you feel, at least not 100% of the time, but unless you are one of the VERY rare, exceptions, you have felt this way at some point.

These feelings, even if they aren’t this extreme, are completely normal, so please know that you are not alone. If you’re beating yourself up for beating yourself up, stop it.

Recognizing that we have our weaknesses, without judgement, allows us to strive for improvement, but we must do it from a place of love and kindness, and with a great deal of patience.

Our thoughts become our truth

To take this rule beyond ourselves…but back to ourselves, let’s talk about how we think (talk) about others.

Listen, I know there are some serious a-holes in this world, but there aren’t anywhere near as many as we think there are. For the most part, people are trying to figure stuff out, just like we are. When we allow ourselves to think negative thoughts about others, when we aren’t patient with them and we aren’t kind with our words to or about them, we perpetuate negativity in our own lives.

Don’t allow yourself to create unnecessary negativity in your life because of someone else.

Let the guy cut you off in traffic, maybe he’s rushing to get home because he’s sick.

Let the cashier treat you poorly, maybe his cat died this morning.

Let that woman at work talk too much, maybe it’s how she deals with anxiety.

Life is a Constant Evolution

Some people say life is a journey, not a destination, but I like to think of life as our constant evolution. Life doesn’t come with a map or a compass. Sure, we might have goals we’d like to achieve, and we should absolutely work towards them without ever giving up, but the truth is, we have no idea what lies ahead. This is why we must evolve by learning to adapt, rather than trying to stick to a route we think we must follow.

We are all entitled to health and happiness, but it needs to come from a place of love and acceptance by letting go of perfection, and being patient with yourself and kind with your words.

The next time you feel yourself getting sucked into that negative self-talk vortex, stop yourself and remind yourself of something you love about who you are then remind yourself that there’s no manual for life, so expecting perfection is completely absurd.

Everything we experience we are experiencing for the first time.

Just because you’re no longer a child doesn’t mean you’re not still learning and growing, you are. And every day is an opportunity to make mistakes, learn from them, and adapt (evolve) as necessary.

Be patient with yourself and kind with your words, make this your job, and do it.

Follow all the rules for living a happy, healthy, I’mperfect Life lifestyle: The Rules